Disclaimer: Everything written in this document is purely from the bottom of the heart of the author. This is written with no intention to offend any community. Any character or metaphor used to depict a situation is only for the purpose of humor.
It all starts with boring vacations at home because we have gotten used to this place called Law School which is basically procrastination about getting up early in the morning, from skipping showering to skipping the high-quality 7-star breakfast in the so-called “food court” so that you can reach the classroom where the devilish creature resides – The Professor.
Yeah, the one who doesn’t allow you inside even if you are 2 minutes late, even if you sit down on the floor outside the classroom and be a beggar, which is like a series of bewilderment because this is not even close to the idea of the superficially amazing “college life” we had in mind when we were young, a not so known synonym for dumb.
And then comes whining to each and every professor to leave us early so the 10 minutes of break could be spent doing way more productive things like peeping inside other classrooms, intentionally making eye contact with students of other classes so (in your head) teasing them about the extra break time (checking out hot kids in the meanwhile and pretending to ignore them because subtlety is important), followed by this thing called eat whatever is cooked ’cause momma isn’t here to serve you the taste of your choice, also acknowledged as college lunch by many people.
Then finally being over with mid-day and crashing onto the bed trying this miracle performance called ‘the phenomenon of sleep’. And then finally waking up at midnight just to realize the day wasn’t worth shit and discovering important time-consuming-but-amazing dimensions of the world wide web like 9gag, Instagram and others while trying to digest that this is not the life you signed up for.
Then comes the ultimate day-light when project topics are supposed to be allotted, along with the most horrifying vital segment titled “DEADLINE”
This is where the whole story starts!
The drill is as follows:
1. The Professor enters the class with a folder in his hand and invisible horns only perceptible to the students.
2. He also wears a name tag which says “prick” but only students have the superpower to read it.
3. Students patiently wait for the class to get through the mid part so he can (literally) shoot us with the individual topics.
4. Then reason being anxiety, the project topics seem to be of some language we have never learned or even heard of (swear words included).
5. Then he finally declares the deadline which is exactly a week after the day it is allotted.
6. Students will attempt to negotiate but the devilish professor will not listen, or rather ignore like a boss.
7. Students will decidedly ‘chill’ for the entire week.
8. Then the panic starts, oh shit! Its just a day left for the Deadline.
9. Mental alarm faintly protests – “Chill dude, it is too late!”
CONTEMPLATION!!! “Should I bunk tomorrow’s class? Should I make some legit (which, for normal species, sensible people is as lame as it could be) excuse? Fake plaster? NO that won’t work. Should I just let it be and settle for a zero? No, I can’t afford that, those 5 marks will help not to flunk.” And the conclusion to the anticipation and probably the cliché solution for everything you are running short on time – “Let’s pull an All-Nighter!”
This is a phase which is not gratifying for anyone. You avoid all the activities that would take a significant amount of time of your day which you are preserving for the completion of the project. These activities include going to the amazing mess to eat the delicious food, using restrooms and sometimes breathing too. You can not plan vacations with your friends because you have better plans for the weekend – Be Sitting and writing the project.
You have in-numerous tabs open in all your browsers for which you promise yourself to explore, right after you make your “boss-walk” after submissions but this is exactly like those ‘Goa’ plans every regular college student has once made in college days – basically, never happening. You have a list of T.V series that you need to take care of because keeping up with latest trends is a crucial part of college life.
“Yes, it’s halfway through I can do it. Do you hear something? Oh shit! That’s my pillow missing me, I should be a generous soul here is what you envision. Let’s try thing amazing thing called a 5-min nap which I know would end up becoming a full-fledged sleep but who cares man lets just do that – YOLO!”
Finally waking up after playing this dangerous game called ‘snooze’ a few times, a normal day in the law school starts, because you had plans for the morning.
Skipping to the part where professor enters the classroom. Starts to teach, giving students little hope of him forgetting about the submission.
Professor’s surprise to us – “LET’S MAKE STUDENTS PRETEND LIKE BEGGARS ON THE STREETS!”
He personally comes and visits each one of us to ask for the project while we try to explain it to him that why we are awfully vain. And like every normal human brain you just want to dig a hole in the ground and disappear from the location or maybe jump out of the window (if you know what I mean).
But no matter how disgruntled you are with this holistic progression, you can not afford to lose your calm (a task which is remarkably laborious). Any noise you make, any step you’d want to take would be enough for the authorities to conclude the marks you are going to get (which doesn’t happen in most of the cases but just for the information, they have the power to screw you).
If we analyze that explicit demeanor of the professor with regard to his hogwash behavior towards the student, the conclusions could be many. So let’s come together and get into the roots of this sadistic conduct of the professor.
- Our lives are way better and interesting than his.
- He is uglier than we are.
- He is a victim of domestic violence.
- He knows we would do better in life than what he is doing.
- He doesn’t have a life.
And probably his kids hate him too so maybe he is removing all that frustration on students because he can not do that at his own house. (this is where we derived the above inference mentioned in point number 3 from)
After wasting hours of continuous begging and pampering his insecurities and ego, you see the miracle happening.
But the combination of your deep instinct and past experiences are continuously warning you not to fall into the trap of this devilish creature. You close your eyes and go into some parallel universe having galaxies with weird but amazing colors where angels are telling you “NOT TO TRUST THE DEVIL”, like the feeling when you smell a certain type of alcohol and it reminds you of the time you nearly died and you had no choice but to believe in what people around you were telling you because you were barely in your senses to judge anything on your own.
“Wait, what is this loud noise? Who is screaming?”
I notice the professor standing right in front of my desk, red face, asking me for my project. And like a lost puppy, I look into his eyes and finally say the words that I have rehearsed all this while getting scared about the insulting words I will have to listen to in the class – “Sir, extension please?”
As he completed the round of the classroom after asking for submissions, he goes and stands in front leaving students completely astonished!
“Look, what is he doing? Oh my god! Did I hear it right? And I realize that he’s trying to be generous. WOW!” Those words are like the medicine that heals all your wounds for a while.
“Deadline extended until next week, I don’t want any further delays.”
“May God bless your poor soul, sire!”
– Anjali Chaudhary
Content Writer @ Legal Bites